The Wonderful Lunacy of Cut-Resistant Gloves

I ran across these gloves, and the first thing I noticed was that the picture depicted somebody apparently trying to cut off their own finger.

Don’t try this at home

At first glance, it doesn’t say “these are cut resistant gloves” so much as “you’re going to need a new pair of gloves. Once you get back from the emergency room.”

Most sellers appear to make their point with the common, “you want to perform black magic? Not with these gloves” style of palm-cutting demonstration.

Imaginary blood brothers

Sure, that gets the point across, but what if you want to demonstrate that your gloves are really very cut-resistant? Then you attack your gloved hand with Paul Hogan ferocity:

You call that a knife?

These things are kind of awesome. But what if I want to artfully cut finger and wrist holes in a metal can, and jam my whole hand through it?

Metal can is not part of glove; if you’re creating a post-apocalyptic film, you’ll have to cut your own cans

At least it’s better than depicting that you might need a pair if you have trouble distinguishing one end of a knife from the other:

Hand me that knife, would you?
Just what exactly were you trying to do, here?

It makes me appreciate those sellers of safety gloves who get the point across — that these will help you avoid blade-and-hand related tragedies — by also illustrating that if you’re going to test the limits of your safety equipment, maybe not stake your fingers on the result of a successful experiment:

Okay, you can probably try this at home

Though it seems that something that might be as effective as all of these, is the graphic depiction of somebody who still has both their thumbs:

Delightfully labeled so you’re well aware there are two thumbs